Bees and Wax - Vacation 2025

 Build Up

'In-ear' monitors (for musicians) and noise cancelling ear buds are great technology.  I was given a pair of JZ in-ear monitors for my volunteer work with BSC bands over the years, and got a free pair of noise cancelling Jabra ear-buds as an award from work.  I had been using the in-ear monitors for several years and used the ear-buds a lot when I travelled for work last year.  One downside to using these great appliances (can I call them that?) is apparently they don't allow one's ear canal to drain properly.  This turned into a problem for me this summer (2025).

Unbalanced Hearing

A day to two into our summer vacation on Vancouver Island, my right ear plugged and I couldn't get it unplugged.  A similar situation had happened to my son late last year, and he had successfully used Earol to clear the plug, so I went to the local pharmacy, bought some, and used it faithfully for several days.  It improved things for a while, but then not.  Around the middle of that first week, I went to a local medical clinic and asked if the doctor could flush my ear, but they weren't talking walk-ins, and advised me to keep 'oiling my ear'.  This whole time my hearing in my plugged right ear was 60-70% reduced, and definitely made it challenging to truly relax and enjoy my time off.  Don't get me wrong - it wasn't life threatening or anything like that - I was still going on 5km runs, doing lots of walking, and living life normally.  It was just annoying and distracting, particularly on vacation.

Going on an ocean walk in the rain with a plugged ear

Living on a Prayer

My wife could sense this issue was bothering me.  She wanted me to enjoy vacation too.  On Monday the next week, she prayed about it and felt I should go back to that medical clinic and ask if they could see me as a walk-in.  I told her I wasn't keen on doing that because I'd already been to that clinic, asking them about this and they said 'no' and directed me elsewhere (which unfortunately wasn't helping).  So she volunteered to go talk to them and told me to come with her.  I agreed, and she prayed again, and we went to the clinic.  She explained the whole situation to the ladies there again, and said we'd tried what they'd suggested to no avail.  Between my wife's persuasion and God's help, the ladies relented and organized an appointment for me (an out of province resident) later that afternoon.  Sure enough, at the appointment the doc flushed my ear and I could hear SO much better.  We were so happy!

A couple days later I gave the ladies a thank-you card and some flowers for accomodating us.

More Likely a Wasp...

Forgive me - I thought Bees and Wax made a better sounding title for this post.  The 'bad guy' in this part of the post was probably a wasp...

Right around that same time, we went on a short day trip to Quadra Island.  My wife likes driftwood, and I just like hanging out by the beach, and we both like walking and easy hikes.  Our first stop was the Cape Mudge Lighthouse.  There was a nice walk/hike we had done on a previous trip on the resort property near there that we wanted to do again, but unfortunately the resort was closed, so we ended up at the ocean by the lighthouse.  

Just a little bit of driftwood

The tide was out and it was a ways to the water, but the attraction here was the driftwood.  My wife and I poked around the driftwood for about 20 minutes until she suddenly exclaimed 'OW!  Perry!!  What is it?!  Get it off me!'  I missed it, but a wasp had gotten under her shirt and stung her.  We went back to the truck and found some 'sting first aid' in our first aid kit.

Help, One More Time

Days later, the area where she had gotten stung was still not looking or feeling great, particularly in the heat.  The closest pharmacy when this reach a point of 'we need to do something' was the one in Black Creek, in the same building as the medical centre I'd been to for my ear.

Upon seeing the affected area, the pharmacist was concerned - it could be infected.  However, she couldn't prescribe an antibiotic without a prescription from a doctor.  My wife glanced across the office at the doctor's reception desk and headed right over there.  It wasn't busy, and the ladies there had actually overheard her story, so upon hearing my wife's situation, they said, 'We gave your husband an appointment, its only fair if we give you one too!'

My wife got her prescription the next day after her appointment, and that helped clear it up!

Surely God is my help;  the Lord is the one who sustains me

Psalm 54:4

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The Lord's Prayer - Forgive us Our Sins...

Intro...

For the last year or two, I've been trying to pattern my morning prayers after the Lord's Prayer.  I find that the structure allows me to be more consistent (if sometimes somewhat repetitive at times) in the discipline of prayer.  I've realized that there's nothing wrong with being consistent and somewhat repetitive.  Jesus related in his parable about the persistent widow who kept asking for the same thing over and over until she got it.  Here's a link to previous posts about this: 

Part 1 - Our Father...  

Part 2 - Your kingdom come, Your will be done... 

Part 3 - On earth as it is in heaven. 

Part 4 - Give us this day...

Part 5 - Forgive us our sins...  is below

Part 6 - Lead us not... But deliver us...

Forgive Us Our Sins....

I'm always directed (in my heart and mind) back to Psalm 51 when I think about this phrase.  King David's plea to God for forgiveness after committing adultery with Bathsheba is remarkable in its depth of humility and contrition.  Some excerpts here from 'The Message' version (Copyright © 1993, 2002, 2018 by Eugene H. Peterson) give an interesting, different perspective...

 God, make a fresh start in me,

    shape a Genesis creation week from the chaos of my life.

Don’t throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me.

Bring me back from gray exile, put a fresh wind in my sails!

....

Going through the motions doesn’t please you,

    a flawless performance is nothing to you.

I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered.

Heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.

Psalm 51:10-12, 16-17

As We Forgive Those...

In thinking about what to write for this blog post for the past few weeks, I've realized that I struggle with walking in forgiveness towards leaders in leadership at work, in government, or in church that do not appear to understand the burdens they place on me.  This leads to me becoming angry and frustrated, and I can end up stewing in this for far too long.  Some results of this are an inability to communicate effectively with them when I have an opportunity to get my point across, and a lack of empathy and compassion for what they themselves are dealing with.

Recognizing that this behaviour of mine needs to change, I wondered where it started in my life.  While I was brushing my teeth one evening, God began to align thoughts and recollections in my head...

In grades 3 and 4,  I was very keen and motivated to learn - I loved learning and school, and my parents encouraged me to do my best.  I had an intense, deep sense that it was my responsibility to learn, and I didn't want to let anyone down.  I'm not sure where those feelings came from or why I had them, but that was just me, then.  *shrug and smile*

Enter my teacher for those two years, Mr. H.  He was great in a lot of ways, and introduced us to many things that have formed and shaped me to this day.  Some examples:  He read two of the Chronicles of Narnia books to us; he played his oboe to us in class; and he had a passion for first nations history and art that I definitely assimilated.  However, he also had a method of keeping the class obedient and submissive that, given my intense desire to learn, broke my heart. 

Looking from the vantage point of 4 more decades of experience, his leadership behaviour was not all that abusive.  He did yell quite loud at times when he was frustrated.  But what really got me was this:  Whenever we started a new subject in class, he'd ask us to take those books out of desks to get prepared.  If we did this too loud, he'd tell us to put our books back in our desks and have us wait.  Each time this happened during a day, the wait would be longer... first 5 minutes.  Then 10 or so, but randomly longer.  There were some days where we did nothing - no school work at all - because we'd been talking too much in our transition between subjects.  I felt all this doing nothing was letting my family and myself down, because it was my responsibility to learn.  I had no control over how loud my classmates were.  I didn't feel I could talk to anyone about it.  I felt terrible, and quietly wept in class at my desk many times as we waited, adding embarrassment to my frustration.   I believe I've had trust issues with certain leadership/authority figures every since then, perhaps due to a lack of forgiveness and a 'bitter seed' of sorts that was planted in my heart at that time.

Considering forgiveness
Image by Pexels from Pixabay

A Prayer...

Oh God, help me to forgive my teacher and the students, and the leaders that I've had since then with whom I've felt awkward and suspicious.  They had no way to know what kind of impact these things would have on me.  Help me to learn to love them again, and view them with empathy and compassion for the situations they were/are dealing with.  Forgive me for harbouring bitter thoughts and blame against them.  Help me to trust you, and leave these situations, concerns, frustrations, and fallout in your capable hands.  Thank you, that you are more than able to restore and heal everyone concerned, and help us to receive your healing.

God's Paths - A Photo Essay

 I enjoy mountain biking and hiking.  Spring is a great time of year to get back outside to enjoy fresh air and nature doing these things.  There are many references to God's Paths in the bible, and I've ended thinking about a number of them this year while biking and hiking this spring.

Some thoughts about paths and their significance in the Bible (at least from my perspective):

• There's a limit to how fast I can go on a path.  This forces me to observe and appreciate the nature around me.  Even when I'm biking a path, I'm going fast enough to miss things.  Walking a path allows me to recognize and treasure the amazing detail, colour, and diversity in God's creation, right at my fingertips.  It also reminds me of God's speed - something rather foreign to our 'microwave' 21st century lifestyles.
• Paths have been well travelled by many before us.  They made the way smoother, straighter and removed obstructions for us.  The people who have gone before us have 'made a way' - a legacy of sorts.  Hebrews 11 really speaks this to me - particularly with the author's finishing thoughts in chapter 12 talking about 'strengthening weak arms and knees and making level paths for your feet'.
• Paths can afford us views of magnificent vistas, or they may go through places with valley walls or have turns that do not allows us to see very far ahead.  God knows and He sees.  Lets learn to trust Him on the path.
• Generally paths are single file, good for following someone.  This is very applicable given Jesus command to his disciples:  'Follow me'.  Sometimes that means we are led to places we're not comfortable: on the side of a steep hill, or into parts of town that don't seem safe.  God said He'd be with us there - an ever-present help in time of need.

Some pictures of paths I've been on along with some accompanying scripture (a photo essay of sorts):

Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. Psalm 119:105
BeaverLodge Lands Park, Campbell River, British Columbia

Give careful thought to the paths for your feet
and be steadfast in all your ways. Proverbs 4:26
Glenbow Ranch, Cochrane, Alberta

God holds success in store for the upright,
He is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
for he guards the course of the just
and protects the way of his faithful ones. 
Then you will understand what is right and just and fair -
every good path.  Proverbs 2:7-9
Nose Hill Park, Calgary, Alberta

Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths.  Psalm 25:4
Nose Hill Park, Calgary, Alberta

You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.  Psalm 16:11
Glenmore Reservoir Park, Calgary, Alberta

How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
By living according to your word.  Psalm 119:9
Nose Hill Park, Calgary, Alberta

Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths.  Psalm 25:4
Bowmont Park, Calgary, Alberta

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5-6
The Elms Path, Glogowek, Poland

He leads me in paths of righteousness for his namesake. Psalms 23:3
BeaverLodge Lands Park, Campbell River, British Columbia

You make your saving help my shield, and your right hand sustains me;
your help has made me great.
You provide a broad path for my feet,
so that my ankles do not give way.
Psalm 18:35-36
Banff National Park, Banff, Alberta

The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him.  Psalm 37:23
Nose Hill Park, Calgary, Alberta

This is what the Lord says:
“Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
and you will find rest for your souls."
Jeremiah 6:16
Beddington Bluff, Calgary, Alberta

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
 Isaiah 55:8-9
SilverSprings Park, Calgary, Alberta

The Lord's Prayer - Lead Us Not.. Deliver Us from Evil

Intro..

For the last year or two, I've been trying to pattern my morning prayers after the Lord's Prayer.  I find that the structure allows me to be more consistent (if sometimes somewhat repetitive at times) in the discipline of prayer.  I've realized that there's nothing wrong with being consistent and somewhat repetitive.  Jesus related in his parable about the persistent widow who kept asking for the same thing over and over until she got it.  Here's a link to previous posts about this: 

Part 1 - Our Father...  

Part 2 - Your kingdom come, Your will be done... 

Part 3 - On earth as it is in heaven. 

Part 4 - Give us this day...

Part 5 - Forgive us our sins...

Part 6 - Lead us not... But deliver us...   Deliver Us from Evil is below.  I realize I'm skipping some sections making this one Part 3, but as you'll see below, my recent experience seemed to justify this.

Lead Us Not Into Temptation

So where does God leads us then?  Would God lead us into temptation?  

I like to think of Psalm 23 to answer both of these questions.  It says as our shepherd, God leads us by still waters, and guides us in paths of righteousness, for His namesake (click on the links to read some posts I've done about those specific pieces of that Psalm).  

Interestingly though, the following phrase in Psalm 23 talks about 'walking through the valley of the shadow of death.'  If we're being guided on His paths, how do we end up in the valley of the shadow of death?  It seems His paths of righteousness sometimes head that direction...

Las Vegas - Google Next 2025

Last week (early April 2025) I was on a business trip to the Google Next 2025 conference which happened to be held in Las Vegas.  As I was praying in my mornings and evenings in the hotel there, this passage '...lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil...' seemed very apropros.  Las Vegas - otherwise known as 'Sin City' is the place one supposedly goes to forget the responsibilities, disciplines, and proper conduct of true life.  Every hotel/resort (including the one we were put up in) close to the main drag had casinos, slot machines, entertainment, pools, and food establishments design for escape.  

Looking at a map of 'the strip', I was struck with its similarity to a spiritual 'valley of death.'  Everything is there on that valley of a road through the middle of Las Vegas, with 'hills' of hotels and casinos on each side, that will tempt you to some kind of literal or spiritual death.  

Deliver Us from Evil

Thankfully, our Good Shepherd doesn't leave us lost and alone in the Valley of the Shadow of Death.  The psalmist says that God is with us, there. 

- And because He is with us, we don't have to fear! 
    '...I will not fear for You are with me.  Your rod and staff comfort me.'  

- And He feeds and sustains us there!  

    'You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.'  

Jesus prayed for his followers in the Garden of Gethsemane in his last hours before his death.  This is one of the most detailed accounts of a prayer of Jesus.  Its interesting to see that one of the pivotal points of his prayer is John 17:15 'My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.'  Its a prayer I try and remember to pray for the people on my prayer list, and again, seemed very applicable for my stay in Las Vegas that week.

Snow Tubing and Desperate Prayer

What is Snow Tubing?

I grew up in a logging community, and it seemed like there was a surplus of large tire tubes - likely left-overs from the local skidders and logging trucks.  We'd use these tubes as sleds in the winter to slide down hills and take jumps.   For reference: the tubes we used were significantly larger than the red one in the picture below - more like 4-5 feet in diameter with a 2-3 feet whole in the middle.

Snow tubing with a store bought tube and a jump
at the bottom of the hill.
Image by hmschl from Pixabay

A Desperate Prayer

One winter evening when I was between 9-10 years old, kids from our church went to sled at a school (Dutch Lake Elementary School) nearby the church.  We brought various sized tubes with us, and the sledding conditions were fantastic.  The hill was similar in size to the picture above, and it also had a jump at the bottom. 

Everyone was seeing how much air they could get off that jump.  A quick observation showed that a lack of speed and tube size appeared to be the limiting factors in air-time and distance.  I decided to jump on the largest tube, face down and forward (for aerodynamics) to try and get maximum speed on my next downhill run.  Unfortunately, a number of other people thought this was a great idea and jumped on top of me.  As the tube picked up speed going down the hill, my back and body were stretched across the middle of the tube, holding the weight of everyone on top.  Dismayed and scared, adrenaline pumped through me as I realized the jeopardy I'd put myself into.  Speeding towards the jump, I wondered, 'Am I going to break my back when our airtime finishes and everyone lands on top of me??'  It was one of those moments of desperate prayer without much time to be eloquent: 'God, help!'

The tube flew off the jump, along with all of us.  We landed, a jumble of arms, bodies, and legs, and some of the people landed on me.  I had the wind knocked out of me, and it felt like my belly button touched my back bone, but otherwise I survived without a scratch.  Thank you, God!  He literally 'upheld me' that evening and protected me from serious injury.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”   
Isaiah 41:10

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Bearspaw Christian School

BCS and Our Kids

The spring that Kornelia was finishing grade 6 and Erik was finishing grade 2, we heard an advertisement for an 'open house for new students' for Bearspaw Christian School (BCS) on the local Christian radio station.  We thought we'd all go check it out.  On the way, the kids were 'meh' about this idea.  'Why do we have to go look at this school?'  On the way home later that evening though, they were very enthusiastic about the idea of attending there the following year.  So we enrolled them.

Looking back, this was a great experience for them.  They both graduated grade 12 from BCS.  Ewa and I as parents have no regrets we made this decision.  You can read some of their experiences in the following link:  Remembering the Kindness of God in Raising Our Kids

Volunteering

You have been treated generously, so live generously.  

Matthew 10:8b

Parents were required to volunteer some time at the school as part of the commitment in being involved.  For the last 6 years of their time there, I volunteered leading one of the four student worship bands.  This involved weekly practices with the band on Thursday afternoons, and then we'd lead worship for a school chapel once every 4 weeks or so.  I really enjoyed this experience.  I organized Christmas band parties for my team, and end of year picnics, and we lots of fun and interesting experiences in chapels.  

Setting up and sound check for our of our last chapels

Fun Experiences Volunteering

Here's some highlights of volunteering at BCS that I can share now since the students involved are adults:

• An acoustic worship chapel where we had set up an atmosphere like a campfire.  At the end we ramped up the intensity of the songs and everyone was dancing (400 students and teachers) singing Bethel's song 'I've got a River....'.  Looking back, the picture I have in my mind is students and teaching singing, smiling, and busting moves for God.  I was so wrapped up in leading/playing that I had literally strummed the guitar until my fingers bled, and it made a mess of the guitar.  It was definitely a day where God met us.  When I bump into people now who were there that day, they still say 'remember that one acoustic chapel..?'
•  One practice, I had no new songs for the band, but really wanted them to 'go deeper into true worship' with the songs we were playing.  I prayed about this, and God gave me the idea to turn the lights out while we practiced.  The kids knew the songs well enough to play them in the dark.  With the lights off, no one had to worry about what anyone else was doing, and we could really focus on the words we were singing and truly worship.  Again, this turned into a special time - God's presence was there.

Christmas Worship Band party - Using toilet paper
to decorate people like snowmen

The Lost Girl

At the end of my second last year volunteering, I organized a 'year-end worship team picnic' at a nice local park, on the edge of the Bow River.  We had done this the previous year and it was a hit with the kids, so we prepared for 'the sequel.'

The evening arrived and we all met around our designated spot and built a large campfire.  After cooking and eating some hotdogs and chips, we brought out our guitars and sang some worship songs.  Everyone seemed to be having a good time.  Unbeknownst to me, one of the girls had previously had an argument with her mom that day, and decided to 'show her!'  After we had sung some songs, the girl told me she had to leave for the bathroom and I said 'fine.'  But she never came back.  

'Has anyone seen <girl's name> lately?' I asked, getting concerned after what seemed an inordinate amount of time to be gone to the restroom.  No one had.  We started to look for her.  After some time doing this, we called her Mom, and then called the police, as it was getting late.  The police took the issue pretty seriously, and in a short while had 3-4 cruisers at the park AND the police helicopter involved.  By this time I was sweating bullets and doing a lot of earnest praying under my breath and with the family.  

With the police involved, we were drawing some attention from other people passing through the park, and they volunteered to help.  It was probably close to 10pm when one of these people - a fellow on a mountain bike - ended up seeing the girl walk out of the bush at the far end of the park.  He confirmed who she was and then beelined it back to us to inform us she was OK and on her way back.  WHAT A RELEIF!!

When she arrived, I think she was a bit shocked to discover the intensity of searching that had been going on for her, with the police presence and participation.  When everything wrapped up, and we learned that she was 'trying to teach her mom a lesson' (sigh, teenage girls), I drove home VERY thankful to God that she was fine and found.

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An Overland Odyssey - Kyrie, Eleison

January 1991

In January 1991 at 19 years old, I had one year of college behind me.  The previous summer saw me recommit my life to Jesus Christ (more about that here), and that fall I'd just finished a ten week 'intensive Christian training' school in Texas (see this link about an experience there).  I was not ready to back into any kind of formal schooling at that time.  I felt I needed to learn more about God and serve him.  So I'd planned to head back down to Texas and continue the learning I'd started there while volunteer working in the print shot they had.

There was a fellow named Kevin from Sandpoint, Idaho who had gone through the fall training with me, and he was also going back to Texas to continue his learning journey there - and he planned on driving down.  We previously agreed that I would join him so we could travel together, but I had to get to Sandpoint first.  My Mom, brother, and cousin decided to drive me to Sandpoint - about a 8 hour drive from where we lived in the interior of British Columbia.

The Odyssey Begins

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 

even there your hand will guide me.  Psalm 139:9-10

January as it was, we had winter driving conditions which weren't really too bad until we were closer to Spokane.  By that time, we'd already crossed the border into the US, and had been driving in Washington state for a couple hours.  My mom had gotten tired of driving and I had taken over.  It was snowing and the roads were snow-covered and I was doing the speed-limit, which Mom informed me was 'too fast for the road conditions and traffic.'  I silently disagreed in my mind, and barely started to slow down when a dog about the size of a coyote ran onto the road from the right.  I couldn't swerve because there was traffic coming at me from the left and the road was too slippery for sudden moves.  Braking fast was also not an option because of the icy road.  As a result, I hit the dog.  The whole episode was over rather fast, but adrenaline spike and subsequent verbal grilling I got lasted for a while.  Cars were made pretty solid back then, so there was little physical damage to the car itself.  God protected us, and I learned a lesson which I remember to this day.  

Kevin in TX

Unscheduled Stops

The next morning I was dropped off at Kevin's house in Sandpoint and my family started their return journey home.  We left for Texas the following day.  Kevin had a Subaru with florescent pink trim, as I recall.  He had driven it to Texas for the ten week training we'd done in the fall.  We began our trip and drove the length of Idaho most of that first day, but later in the afternoon, the car broke down a ways past Weiser, ID.  We left it on the road and walked to a house nearby.  The Zaugs lived there - they were an older couple and were happy to help us out in our quandary - providing us with a place to stay for the evening and letting us use their phone so Kevin could make alternate arrangements.  In the end, the car wasn't going to get fixed.  We caught a Greyhound bus from Weiser to Boise, to Salt Lake, to Denver, to Dallas, and finally to Tyler, Texas.  It was a really long trip, with a lot of unplanned stops and lay-overs at bus stations on the way.  We were exhausted when we finally arrived at our destination a couple of days later.  But God protected us and we were no worse for wear.

Reflection 

Thinking about that trip now, how old I was when I did it, I can only imagine the concern of my parents.  It brings to mind one of my favourite radio tunes of that era - Kyrie by Mr. Mister.  At the time, I didn't know what the words meant, but knowing what they mean now, my thoughts immediately think of this trip.  Kyrie, Eleison is actually the beginning of a Greek Orthodox prayer.  It means 'Christ, have mercy..'  The words of the chorus of the song were very appropriate for that time in my life: 

Kyrie eleison, down the road that I must travel
Kyrie eleison, through the darkness of the night
Kyrie eleison, where I'm going, will you follow?
Kyrie eleison, on a highway in the light

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A map of my January 1991 overland odyssey

The Lord's Prayer - Your Kingdom Come, Your Will be Done

Intro..

For the last year or two, I've been trying to pattern my morning prayers after the Lord's Prayer.  I find that the structure allows me to be more consistent (if sometimes somewhat repetitive at times) in the discipline of prayer.  I've realized that there's nothing wrong with being consistent and somewhat repetitive.  Jesus related in his parable about the persistent widow who kept asking for the same thing over and over until she got it.  Here's a link to other posts about this: 

Part 1 - Our Father...  

Part 2 - Your kingdom come, Your will be done... 

Part 3 - On earth as it is in heaven. 

Part 4 - Give us this day...

Part 5 - Forgive us our sins...

Part 6 - Lead us not... But deliver us...

Your Kingdom Come..

There's a lot of meaning in the prayer 'Your kingdom come...'  If I'm praying that and sincere, I'm asking God to come and rule and 'reign' in my life.  Taking a step back and thinking about this, one uses reigns to control and steer a horse.  Similarly, I'm surrendering control to my King in asking Him to come guide, steer, and direct my life.

What does God's kingdom look like in my life?  There's a fun reggae song based on a verse in Romans 14:17 that I often remember in thinking about this.  It goes:  "Righteousness, peace, joy in the Holy Ghost.  Righteousness, Peace, Joy in the Holy Ghost, that's the Kingdom of God!"    I sometimes reflect and consider: Is my life reflecting those attributes during my day?  If not, it might be time for me to give those reigns back to God.

Finally, consider the potential of the Kingdom of God in our lives.  Jesus spoke of the Kingdom of God being like a mustard seed, which even though its very small, when planted it can grow into a large tree that birds can hang out in.  When I was reflecting on this word picture in my mind, another one popped up.  The influence of a small domino knocking over progressively larger dominos.  Apparently, you can increase the size of the next domino successfully 1.7 times with every new domino.  If you start with one 10 millimetres high, and increase 1.7 times with each domino, 244 dominos later the last one is the size of the Empire State Building.  That's the potential influence of the Kingdom of God, and I find it encouraging. 

Your Will Be Done....

This might sound a bit silly, but I struggled and was in a way frustrated for years to know and understand what the 'will of God' was for my life.  It made praying this prayer challenging.  I was stuck in a rut of defining 'God's will for my life' as a big plan, and I could never seem to hear or grasp.  Consequently, I'd often add a phrase of my own while praying this...  'Your will be done, God, if I can figure out what that is.'

Suddenly one day (in church, perhaps?) someone read 1 Thessalonians 5:18 and I was a bit shocked.  God's will didn't need to be a big, architected plan for my life.  It could be a simple everyday choice in small things.  That verse goes like this:  "Be thankful in all things, for this is God's will in Christ Jesus for you."

At first glance, the thought is 'oh, actually doing God's will isn't that hard.'  Its easy to skim over the phrase '...in all things...'  That clarifier is a challenge to live up to!  I've realized its not nearly as easy as I thought to be thankful in all things in any reasonable fashion or consistency without God's help.

As I let those truths marinate in my live for a good bit of time (several years - not days or months), I realized that there were some other similar verses similar to this that I had not considered.  Micah 6:8 is one:  "He has shown you, oh man, what is good and what God requires of you.  But to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God."

Luke 4:18,19 was the most recent one that stuck out to me in this context.  Its also the most challenging as it talks about specific actions and results...

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,

    because he has anointed me

    to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners

    and recovery of sight for the blind,

to set the oppressed free,

    to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour.”

The First Time God Spoke to Me

God speaks to children!  

"The boy Samuel was serving God under Eli’s direction.....
...God called again, “Samuel!”—the third time! Yet again Samuel got up and went to Eli, “Yes? I heard you call me. Here I am.”  That’s when it dawned on Eli that God was calling the boy. So Eli directed Samuel, “Go back and lie down. If the voice calls again, say, ‘Speak, God. I’m your servant, ready to listen.’” Samuel returned to his bed."  1 Samuel 3:8-9

My Experience

Similar to Samuel, I don't think I realized God would speak to me at that age, or how He would do it.  To be honest, when He did speak to me I did not realize it was Him until many years later.  

Let me set the scene...

I was around 8 or 9 years old, just a normal kid, playing marbles and hockey.  Not a pastor's child or anything like that.   When my brother and I were that age, my Mom always got us 'cool' pyjamas - with some kind of designs on them.  Thinking about this now, getting dressed in 'cool' pyjamas is a good motivator for two rambunctious, young boys to get ready for bed - wise on the part of my Mom, but I wasn't thinking about that then.  We lived in a mobile home then, and with its thin walls and small living space, I was dimly aware of the financial challenges my parents were dealing with at the time.

Having gotten ready for bed one evening (sort of similar to Samuel's story), I was lying in bed dressed in my 'cool' pyjamas and the light on, either reading or waiting for my Mom to tuck me in.  I guess I started day-dreaming and looking at my pyjamas and I was struck with thoughts that had never crossed my mind before...

"These are really nice pyjamas, and I really like them.  Mom and Dad must really love us, to work as hard as they do, and care about us enough to get us special pyjamas like these for us.  Isn't it so nice of them to want us to look 'cool' and feel special in these night clothes?"  

 I remember feeling really loved and emotionally moved, almost to the point of tears.  It was definitely a different experience for me, one I hadn't had before, and I haven't forgotten.

My thoughts have returned to this experience several times over the decades since for different reasons:

• seeing family pictures of my brother and I around that time in our pyjamas (see below)
• seeing the clothes my wife bought our kids when they were young

As I've reminisced about this, I've come to realize that God was speaking to me in my room in that mobile home about what love is, how parents love, and ultimately about His love for me as my heavenly Father.  He was not speaking audibly to me.  It was more thoughts and impressions in a special moment.  There are some scripture verses that, in the years since, have helped me realize that this had been a God moment and He was speaking to me:

• The story of Samuel, referenced above
• "Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light. There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle."
  James 1:17
• Jacob making and giving Joseph his coat of many colours
• "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"  1 John 3:1

Me with a new Bible for my Birthday
in a pair of 'cool' pyjamas around the time mentioned above

My and my brother, also around the time mentioned
above, in different 'cool' pyjamas.

Click here for more true stories of God working in my life

The Lord's Prayer - Our Father...

The Pre-Amble

For the last year or two, I've been trying to pattern my morning prayers after the Lord's Prayer.  I find that the structure allows me to be more consistent (if sometimes somewhat repetitive at times) in the discipline of prayer.  I've realized that there's nothing wrong with being consistent and somewhat repetitive.  Jesus related in his parable about the persistent widow who kept asking for the same thing over and over until she got it.  So here's the beginning of what I hope will be a series of blog posts about my meditations based on the Lord's Prayer.  Here's links to the other posts: 

Part 1 - Our Father...  

Part 2 - Your kingdom come, Your will be done... 

Part 3 - On earth as it is in heaven. 

Part 4 - Give us this day...

Part 5 - Forgive us our sins...

Part 6 - Lead us not... But deliver us...

Our Father who Art in Heaven...

I believe I'm a something of a softy at heart.  I enjoy watching YouTube videos of people with cochlear implants getting them turned on for the first time, children with really bad vision getting corrective glasses for the first time, soldiers surprising their families after being away deployed for a long time, AND most importantly with point I'm trying to make here, foster children getting adopted by their foster families.  A number of people in very close relationship to me had messed up families growing up (including my Dad who was a ward of the government for most of his childhood years).  The joy these children have when they realized they've been adopted is quite an experience and hits me deep.

John says in 1John 3:1 "Behold what manner of love the Father has given unto us, that we might be called children of God."  God is always growing His family, and He's inviting everyone to join!  God wants to be in a father/child relationship with each of us.  And He is a perfect father who gives good gifts to His children.  Listen to Jesus here in Matthew 7:11...  "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay

...Hallowed be Your Name

The Bible actually focuses a lot on God's names.  Often there are phrases like 'bless the name of the Lord', 'for your namesake' and, like above 'hallowed be Your Name.'  Names carry an enormous significance in the Bible.  Many of the different names of God in the Bible came from different people's experiences with God and actual 'revelations' they had of who God is.  Essentially they're saying 'I experienced the living God in this way...'  

As I consider the kaleidoscope of all the different names of God from the Bible, I find God is ready and more than able to meet my needs for living, anywhere, anytime.  God the Seer, God of ages, God the healer, God my peace, God with me, God of all comfort, God the provider, God my hope and protector, etc.

So what are some of the names of God that I remember and I'm specifically thankful for?

• El Roi
• Jehovah Shalom
• Elohim Shomri
• Jehovah Jireh
• Emmanuel 
• Jehovah Rapha

Anxiety and Ambition

Ambition

I turned 40 in 2011.  I felt it was a significant age in my life and you can read from this blog post and this journal entry:

Feb 14, 2011

'...Another area where I've been immature in that way is with my ambition and expecting God to 'show me the way and the direction for my life' during an auspicious time of my life (turning 40 for example) I just need to be patient and let god prepare me fir what he has for us. It's not an instant pancake mix.'

I had struggled with determining God's plan and purpose in my life for many years.  At that time I thought that the next 10 years of my life were essentially 'my peak' and I needed to do something with it.  My ambition switched into high gear.  Over the next 10 years I doubled down on work, volunteering, and writing on the side, trying to accomplish something significant.  

Anxiety - Panic Attacks

After several years of this, putting pressure on myself, I started to get panic attacks.  I'd get them in the middle of night, on the bus on the way to work.  I started to get concerned about this, which of course, didn't help, but rather exacerbated the issue.  This carried on for over a year.  Another journal entry:

July 23, 2013

On the bus home yesterday (first day of work after holidays) I started thinking about work and side work and things and started getting very anxious....

I'd even have these anxiety attacks at work!  In fact, one day I actually left work and went to the downtown hospital and asked them to give me an EKG because it felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest.  Apparently everything looked fine, other than a high heart rate, so they sent me back to work.  At this point I realized that I was probably putting too much pressure on myself and decided to back-off a bit.

What was God Saying?

My interest in God's plan and purpose in my life, along with this 'hiccup' with ambition and anxiety made me 'pay attention' to sermons and verses I was hearing along the same lines.  Verses that stood out to me over the past 18 months or so are:

1 Thessalonians 4:11 "..and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you.."

Micah 6:8  "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.  And what does the Lord require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

1 Chronicles 4:10  "Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request."

Isaiah 30:15  "In returning to Me and rest you shall be saved, In quietness and confident trust is your strength..."

Phillipians 4:6-7  "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

God's message to me?  Stop trying to make things happen on my own.  What I focus on gets larger.  I must trust that God is more than capable to align the people and events in my life with my motivation and experience to accomplish His purpose and plan - whatever that may be - through me.  I need to be obedient, humble, pray, and keep on moving forward, one step at a time.