July 10, 1990 An Epic Journey
An Epic Journey - July 10, 1990
|Craig and myself standing on rocks by the Clearwater River|
during our epic bike journey
Somewhere in the past year - I'd say treeplanting, since that is the ultimate test of human fellowship and goodwill, I've started to be totally honest with people about how I am feeling - whether it be in general or about them. No Filter. Whatever have you. Craig, I'm sure can verify this. On numerous occasions I told him outright that I thought he was a cheap jerk who didn't care about anyone else on the job, hinting about his planting partner (me), and who could only think about himself. I also told him on one occasion that I thought he was so cheap, he didn't have friends - to him they were acquaintances that operated on a give and receive basis. I always told him this when we were on good terms. Usually he knew when we were on bad terms because I'd give him a look. Craig is a good guy at heart, though.
It's funny... it seems that the only time I get in the real ornery mood and I'm honest with people is when we're in a bad situation or I'm tired (physically, mentally - of brain or of the people from hanging around too much).
|Kelly at Sylvia Falls on the Mahood River -|
the furthest part of our journey. Kelly's chain had already
snapped at this point
Being honest about feelings is good - always try feeling the best of the situation.
2018 ReflectionsReflecting on this day now (2018), its one I'm sure none of us has ever forgotten it. Not only did Kelly get mixed up with a bunch of wasps and break his chain 37kms away from civilization... When we got back we biked straight to my house and made milk shakes. In my tired stupor, I put a large scoop of ice cream in a full, running blender without a lid. As soon as that scoop hit the blades, the entire contents of the blender exploded out all over the kitchen ceiling. What a mess to clean up! We laughed about it, though, and were able to clean everything up before anyone else came home.
I was discovering things about myself that day, that whole summer in fact. I wasn't as 'good' as I thought I was. And now, looking at my comments and some of the things I said to people, I'm not proud.
I've definitely noticed in the years since that exhaustion has an impact on my attitude and ability to discipline my thoughts. If I can help it, I try not to get myself into situations where I'm that tired.
Sometimes I've wondered if the relationships in my life are just 'acquaintances'. Was that me projecting my fears and concerns about my friendships on others?